Cold and Honest Thoughts on Eating

Go To Bed an Hour Earlier Tonight Readers,

Never have I loved so deeply something that hated me so emphatically: food. Mercifully, thankfully, I need it every day to survive, but this becomes more mockery than blessing whenever anything tastes good. You see, food that tastes good wants nothing more than to destroy me. Far be it from me to make sweeping blanket statements that wrongly criticize foods like the apple, the banana, the grape, foods that miraculously taste good and are good for you (A.KA. fruits) but you and I both know when given the choice between another piece of chocolate cake and an orange, the orange will rot before anyone gives it a second glance.

Foods that are just good for you are like the last kid picked for teams on the play ground; you know you can't play without the last man, but there is no way he'll be much more than the water boy. These kind of foods are almost better served if they were treated like medicine. We take medicine not because we enjoy the experience, but because we might die if we don't. Seriously, make the consumption of raw celery a doctor prescribed necessity. We could save thousands of dollars by NOT buying celery we're NOT going to eat.

Every once in a while though, foods that are good for you fight their way to center stage, almost exclusively when walking, breathing, and seeing your own feet become an issue. I have made valiant efforts in that direction many times, often as long as one week. The mocking is worst at these times; butter drenched, chocolate covered foods just laugh at me, and so I eat them to shut them up. Its a vicious cycle. Once the cycle is broken, it takes at least another two weeks to two years to be motivated enough for another healthy week of torture.

Case in point: for the last week and a half (new record), I have tried to lose weight with my wife so we don't cry out in anguish over what we see in the mirror anymore. After a giant day of eatery on Sunday, a pizza for dinner yesterday, and gorging ourselves at Winger's today, we're pretty much shot. When I say gorge ourselves, I mean gorge ourselves. The friends we went with today bought entree's bigger than my head, and I got endless fries and wings with an endless strawberry lemonade. None of us could stand up straight when we limped out of there.

Why do we do this? I've never learned that I should try staying within the threshold of pain when I eat. I asked this at the table today at lunch after we cleared out another bowl of popcorn in less than a minute.

The other side of the table came up with, "Well, there is thanksgiving..."

My response: "The way we eat, we have thanksgiving three times a week!"

Long story short, I know I'm not a bad guy, but I'm having the hardest time convincing food that I'm not. I don't see an end to this love hate relationship, either. Pray for me.

Poetry Monday #5

Check Your To-Do Lists Readers,

I have a gloomier poem for the Open Mic today. I wrote it back in high school when I walked into the auditorium to see the stage bare of anything but a single baby grand piano.

 Lonely Pianist

I am a lonely pianist
Playing to rows of empty pews.
I pound the keys but hear only silence,
I cause chords to hum and see only dark.
There’s harmony, but I know no balance;
I make beauty, but no one will hark.

Time, persistence mature my skill,
 But what is skill without passion?
I weave crescendos, but no one will care;
The notes burst from me to die on the wall.
My song is as insubstantial as air,
With no one to love it, its not there at all.

The last piece echoes its refrain;
The only applause is my own.
A small tear I cry, I’m not overjoyed;
These tears come from a deep sorrow.
  My precious art is fading to the void,
The world may have murdered it by tomorrow.

- Burkley Rudd

Super Sunday Scripture Commentary #5: April 6th, 2014

I Hope Everyone Took the Time to Watch General Conference Readers,

 I am privileged as a Latter- Day Saint to listen to General Conference every six months. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints meets twice a year to hear from the leadership of the church, specific revealed guidance God has for us now. All the world can and should tune in to this broadcast; there is so much there that is good and right that everyone needs to hear.  In the spirit of a special spiritual event, today's Super Sunday Commentary will also be out of the ordinary.

D&C 100: 17 - And all that call upon the name of the Lord, and keep his commandments, shall be saved. Even so. Amen.

Acts 2:21 - And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Matt 2:13 - But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

3 Nephi 11:33 -  And whoso believeth in me, and is baptized, the same shall be saved; and they are they who shall inherit the kingdom of God.

In just these four examples, we see four different things we must do to be saved in three different books of scripture. Two differing requirements are in the New Testament alone. How could anyone believe that the entire mortal requirement for salvation could be conveyed in a single verse, when there are literally hundreds of pages of scripture given to us to live by? How could anyone ignore all but one scripture on any given topic and think that they've captured all they need to do? Being so shortsighted is very dangerous to our understanding.

Cold and Honest Thoughts on the Lottery

Don't Forget to Buy Milk Readers,

The lottery rubs me the wrong way. Always has. My eyes were opened even wider on the subject in a college math class when we learned just how much you can expect to lose when you play a gambling game (most of the time you can expect to lose all the money you put in). There is an exact mathematical formula to figure that out, can you believe that? I would think casinos and state lotteries wouldn't want that info going very far, but I digress.

The logic of the lottery boggles my mind. Let me give you the most optimistic example. If I buy a scratch ticket for $1, and we'll say the odds of me at least breaking even are something like 1,000 to 1, that means there is a 99.9% chance I would have been better off setting that dollar on fire to keep myself warm. Can you imagine that logic working for anything else? Let's go shopping at the gambling grocery store. There's only a .1% chance you get to keep the groceries you pay for, but hey, it just might be your lucky day! If its any difference of opinion, I prefer to shop where there's a 100% chance I get what I pay for.

It gets worse when you listen to lottery commercials. At the end of every commercial it says the lottery benefits public schools and the permanent building fund. You mean to tell me the only way to keep schools and permanent buildings afloat is to take money from a game that forces people to lose almost all their money on a pipe dream?

"Thank you so much for your life savings, now your local schools can have new rain gutters. What would we do without your selfless contribution?"

No wonder the U.S. has such a terrible educational system, it feeds on the crushed hopes of millions of mislead lottery players, who so generously donate to the cause without knowing it.

As if my eyes couldn't be any more open on the subject, my line of work has almost bugged them right out of my head. I see people spend hundreds of dollars on some really fancy paper worth nothing, every day. Sometimes, or should I say at least half the time, its my coworkers doing the spending. I exhaust myself trying to tell them what I've just explained. I had the greatest conversation with one of them after she spent almost $100 on scratch tickets and won back almost $40:

Me: That's a lovely bundle of toilet paper you just bought.

Coworker: If I go for another ticket, you gotta start slapping my hand and telling me no.

Me: I tell you no every time; please no, don't do it, its not worth it, you're going to lose, think of how much you could save, you might as well wipe your bottom with that dollar and flush it than spend it on that, no no no don't no no no please no no no no, and yet you still do. Every time.

Coworker: Well, when I win a million dollars I'm not giving you any!

Me: That's OK, by the time you win that much I'll have been dead for ten years, and so will you.

She mostly gave up for the day at that point, which is a plus I guess. Just don't do it folks; if you care about public schools and the permanent building fund, donate the money on your own terms.

Sultry Poultry Monday #4

Happy Frosted Monday Readers,

Every once in a great while, an entire writing idea falls out of the clear blue sky while I'm minding my own business. I formed a new book plot after seeing a unique last name on a headstone, for instance. Last year while plowing through yet another college semester, this idea fell out of nowhere and hit me. I wrote it and forgot about it until this morning when trying to decide what to show you lovely people. I forgot how much fun it was to put together.

Thoughts on the Stone Steps

I’m trudging up the stone steps,

Swimming in the smell of cologne and hormones.

Everyone having somewhere to be,

No one wanting to get there.

Much stronger is the allure of a boy, a girl,

A passing glance at time wasted as it flies out the open windows of their minds.

Cavernous minds that yawn open, mostly hollow,

Only a small puddle of knowledge gathered on its floor.

Have they forgotten why they have come?

The relentless pursuit to fill that cavern with glory.

Sweat, sacrifice, tears and terror brought them here.

What keeps them here?

Many choose to forget the glory.

Many are ruled by that empty space and fill it with rocks.

Or with nothing,

Proverbial pebbles in the road pulling their sights from heaven.

I think to place myself above it,

Knowing as I say it that I lie.

Glory has always been my goal,

But natural man hungers for self indulgence

In distraction.

Resistance is not in fact futile.

In the war between man and spirit, man wins only what spirit

Concedes.

Godly command of self is the curriculum of life.

All this like a bolt from the blue

As I watch time wasted

And trudge up the stone steps.

Super Sunday Scripture Commentary #4: March 30th, 2014

Enjoy the Snowstorm Readers,

We're revisiting the New Testament today. In a time when there are 1,001 different flavors of Christianity, this advice from the Savior can't be ignored. There is a Joseph Smith Translation in these verses as well. If you didn't know, Joseph Smith was directed by the Lord to correct some things in the bible that had been missed, left out, or mistranslated through the centuries it had been translated, re-translated and even intentionally altered. The JST as it is called in the LDS edition of the King James Version is a collection of the most significant corrections he made. I'll include them in brackets when I quote from the scriptures here.

Matthew 7:21-23

" 21 ¶Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven, [for the day soon cometh, that men shall come before me to judgment, to be judged according to their works].

 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

There are those who profess to believe in Christ and claim to be doing His work in His name when in fact they really aren't. Belief is not enough; we must do something to become something. What we do then, must go down into our hearts and change our natures, made more complete and powerful by the influence by the Holy Ghost. Christ makes clear here that it is possible to act in his name in a manner against the way He would have it done.

History That Endures

It's Windy Outside Readers,

 Some local history was erased today when the Sugar City grain silo was demolished. It must have been tougher than anyone working on the demo thought. I was thinking it would crumble and sink into itself, but it went out strong, holding together long enough until it toppled onto its side. Sugar City was established in 1903, and the grain silo was built between 1906 and 1909. It stood at least 106 years, and still fell in one piece after the foundation was blown up.

I can't believe how sad I am over a century old grain silo, but I am. I have many experiences attached to that silo being there, and without it I know I won't see Sugar City the way I used to. It was one thing Sugar City had no other city could claim, a unique monument to a time few can remember now. Not many years ago, "Welcome to Sugar City" was painted on its side facing the road, which was the wall cut into to place charges in the foundation. The last time I drove by the silo still intact, only a gaping hole was there in place of the welcome sign.

The only thing constant in the world we have built is change. We are relentlessly driving forward to the next improvement or invention or policy and discarding, removing or replacing old things that get in the way of that. Much of this is good. Much of it is needed. Most of the time the past is not efficient, useful, or safe, the reasons of course that influenced the decision to get rid of this grain silo. What the past does offer is memories. Experiences. The very things that mold people and make it possible for them to move into the future in the first place. The present and future can easily outpace the past, but both our present and our future are built on our past. Remove the influence of the past, and we will topple like the grain silo did.

This has already happened in many places around the world, especially here at home; just watch any news feed or political report. The most popular ideologies of our day are constantly moving farther and faster away from what has been established for so long. Replacing and changing worn out ideas and practices for better, more efficient ones is good, but as the grain silo, time tested, enduring qualities will not crumble into themselves so easily, and won't go down without a fight. They can be removed, but only after a lot of effort.

All things considered, if I could have, I would have saved the silo. If I had the resources, I would have tried to keep it standing. One thing about this area that I love is now much of what is old is still surviving and still part of society: the Rexburg tabernacle, downtown Sugar City, downtown Teton. Just as important are values that last ever longer, values under attack today: family, morality, honesty, selflessness, and it is truly a shame when either of these is determined to not be important anymore. They have lasted this long for a reason; we should not be too hasty to disregard them whenever we have a chance.